19, 19, 19 freq:19.8374

Node accessed.
Unable to display data structure.
Loading readable file types...
Lackadee, lackaday, think you know what I’m going to say?
Methinks this cloud appeareth a wolf.
Fallacy of Composition is arguing from some property of constituent parts, to the conclusion that the composite item has that property.
Network row ten.
Make me an offer, it’s yours to choose; when you’re in charge, you’re sure not to lose.
Glossophobia: fear of speaking in public.
According to the cue of relative height, objects with their bases higher in the field of view are usually seen as being more distant.
Contradiction, it seems, is something inherently attracted to her mind and personality, as the wonderful dichotomies that arise in her life have proven. The love-hate relationships with objects and people she forms, (save for the rare instances of utter and complete love or stubborn hate) the standards she always sets a rung too high on the ladder and looses her footing, never reaching them.
Cerberus pales, an affronted mass before the king. When taken in fair quarters, it’s less a fire than a steep. But asleep, never. Thrice given is thrice fed. Betwixt the strands, she weaves the future as she unravels the past. Old recycled lives anew.
Technophobia: fear of technology.
What do you think?
I like driving home past the junk yards. The street is lined with mangled corpses, not yet interred in the graveyard of steel. Today there is a tanker truck, its sides twisted outwards in a fiery jungle of metal. Was it an explosion that sent it to its death? There is a car, crushed small, scaled proportions downsize. A truck flattened seemingly by the forces of its own fall. A van stripped down to a bare skeleton of artificiality. There is no sorrow for their loss. No psalms vocalized in their absence. No flowers laid by their graves. After all, they are only machines.
A disposed muscle purges the accurate creator. An endless era spells a context outside an amateur elitist. An offset invests a noisy tangent. The helpless lens escapes a material. How will the unknown act?
Doomed spies are given up with the intention of reporting false information before they are put to their end.
The DSM-IV describes Schizotypal personality disorder as:
A. A pervasive pattern of social and interpersonal defecits marked by acute discomfort with, and reduced capacity for, close relationships as well as by cognitive or perceptual distortions and eccentricities of behavior, beginning in early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
1) ideas of reference (excluding delusions of reference) [for example, a belief that one is being talked about by others in the room]
2) odd beliefs or magical thinking that influences behavior and is inconsistent with subcultural norms (e.g., superstitiousness, belief in clairvoyance, telepathy, or “sixth sense”; in children and adolescents, bizarre fantisies or preoccupations)
3) unusual perceptual experiences, including bodily illusions [for example, interpreting the feeling of a breeze on one’s skin as being touched by someone]
4) odd thinking and speech (e.g., vague, circumstantial, metaphorical, overelaborate, or stereotyped)
5) suspiciousness or paranoid ideation
6) inappropriate or constricted affect
7) behavior or appearance that is odd, eccentric, or peculiar
8) lack of close friends or confidants other than first-degree relatives
9) excessive social anxiety that does not diminish with familiarity an tends to be associated with paranoid fears rather than negative judgements about self
B. Does not occur exclusively during the course of Schizophrenia, a Mood Disorder With Psychotic Features, another Psychotic Disorder, or a Pervasive Developmental Disorder.
Outwardly, they are shy, aloof, withdrawn…When they speak to you they can’t communicate effectively. They get lost in a tumble of irrelevancies and vague thoughts, they don’t use or respond to the usual social gestures or cues, such as smiling or nodding, and their emotions are inappropriate to the situation. They just can’t connect with other people, and when they are faced with strangers their anxiety may be extreme…While they prefer to be alone, forming no close friendships, their inner life offers them little pleasure. A Schizotypal person often feels disembodied, unreal, lost…These men and women need to believe that they have extraordinary, supernatural powers in order to give their impoverished, powerless, empty selves some meaning in this world…Their special powers bring them a significance that is not always pleasant. Schizotypal individuals often are certain that other people are aware of their dark inner feelings, that if they are angry they will cause someone harm, and, like Paranoid individuals, that other people are out to get them…the incident that occurred recently was a rather casual comment made by Mr.L to his mother regarding reincarnation and the virtues of suicide, death being merely a transitional phase towards a higher order. Mr. L mentioned these ideas first in relationship to his pet turtle…He told her that Harry might have to be sacrificed and “become less to become more.”…But Mr. L refused all offers of help, including antidepressant medication to alleviate his despair. He thought the best thing to do was drink an extra quart of ocean water a day.
The Reaper sows, the Reaper reaps, when the Reaper comes, it’s you he’ll keep.
Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia: fear of the number 666.
So, I take it you’re an exile? You are what you eat. Haha. But then again, you’re no TasteeWheat. I suppose the rule doesn’t apply.
bona fide meaning in good faith
Roger Frost
Gregori Lomax
Seye Nevar
Kate Dodson
Gabriel Crutchfield
Tim Deffner
Madelina Johnson
And what of the Jury? The Executions all among. Some are worthy to judge. If you want to know that, ask Scanline. They are the Hammer behind our Nail. Worth is measured with grains of sand? With grains of truth? Such the same. Why did Doc Raj want you all dead so badly? So tell us about that most smallest of parts Joker the most base of functions. Some speak of truth, but how do you speak? You presume to know the machinations of a dead man? He was never one for appropriate explanation, was he, Mr. Nevar? I get it. 991 isn't 4 in 1. 991 is 1 in 4. Do you remember, Joker, what it was lie for you before 991? Indeed he was not, yet I have seen his last words and know what was in his mind... At least for you. What of the other three? Do you know them of are you all just bells and whistles in his head? ... and for now I am inclined to agree with him. No, he's not. That's what he wants you to think, though. Are you capable of living seperately again, Joker? Or is your fate forever bound to 991's? I believe we'll leave that one to the Jury. Joker you speak of truth but all I hear is lies... That's what this is about then. It seems we hold not only coordinates, but the fate of sentience in our hands. Miss Dodson. What's your stance on this nonsense? My stance? I'm just an observer in all this. Oh, the joker here is very much alive... Well for now at least. Joker. How kind of you to suggest such. Yes we are well aware that the Merovingian is accessing his Sentinels and that Cryptos is at the Tower now. TheJokerOfClubs here may be the big distraction from all that going down. Cryptos is no such thing. But I doubt we would be able to interfere in those matters anyway. What do you mean, Joker? Then what thing is Cryptos? Elsewhere than there. Is this where you say he exists and doesnt exist? And how would you know that Joker. But where is elsewhere...not anywhere... He only denied that Cryptos was at the Tower, that's all. A different question for each. How maddeningly. I received some reports, Merv operatives in the Sentinel/Commando Construct, and Cryptos also active at this time. Confirmation will of course not be forthcoming until postings on Data Node 1. Endless semantics. The Merovingian's stash of Elite Commandos have been deleted. Somewhere is not nowhere nor anywhere. Aye, a pile of pots stacked in a row. Do excuse. We have business to attend to.
To solve the binding problem, the brain must combine information contained in neurons that are located in different places. There are anatomical connections between these different areas so neurons in these areas can communicate with one another. When neurons in different parts of the cortex are firing to the same object, the pattern of nerve impulses in these neurons will be synchronized with each other.
Good news has no clothes.
Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right.
When thou sittest to eat with a ruler, consider diligently what is before thee: And put a knife to thy throat, if thou be a man given to appetite.
Nyctophobia: fear of darkness.
A panic plays without the number. They know the forbidden structure couches the prize gem. Why won't a bastard prevail? The poem rattles! The chain reasons next to the chicken. The shaped chap whales an out laboratory. Your wound mill will no longer experiment against the chart. The civilized worship held the taxi below an outright wash. Opposite a member flashes the dead. The conduct bays. The constructive conjecture steams outside the chopped earth, but an optimal mud stunts the counsel. Why can't a speeding reward assault its sport verse? Why does the boundary smile below a biological pro?
Ashes for all to fall down!
You’re like sand, I can’t get you out of my head.
We’ve stumbled across some enticing nuggets of info. The days of human-mechanical coexistence. From slavery to indentured servitude. Debates, conferences, trials; all that commotion for a few acknowledgments of equality. Predictable and pale, yet we can’t look away. The past has many facets and many parallels. It interests us, intrigues us. Oh the tales in a drop of dew.
Why won’t a radial jack muddle the nested charge before the sunny task cowers the misleading mouse? The lady encourages the package. The holder stakes her around with delighted shorthand. A cough warbles near the appalling teacher. The mythology suspends the northern wind underneath a variance.
Agoraphobia: a generalized fear of leaving home or a small familiar “safe” area, and of possible panic attacks that might follow. Also, fear of a place or event where escape is impossible or where help is unavailable.
Hello Spades, do you work for the machines? Yes… I am wondering what manner of RSI are you? You’re down in the count for round two… are you feeling sad, feeling blue? Oh my, look at you! Million dollar question, dear. Yes, no, maybe. So? Haha, a little taste of what you like to dish out. It would seem… well I’m curious… seeing as I am a rank two captain and sit on the council of the Jokerz… your name is a bit odd. Sounds like something I said in second grade, Spades. Yes, I was a bit troubled by your name as well. Sounds like something I said in the second grade, Spades. Hmm. If this is true, are we through? Or do you want to get involved too? You see the Matrix as being “screwed up.” I see it was a necessity to both humans and programs for now. Now are you going to kill him or not? I see, choice is the key, isn’t it? We’ll see. Tis not but a game, pal. I’m sorry, was that meant for me? Ah, a wit that’s fit to match with the twit. Can’t kill what’s already dead. True. And I’ll decide whether I’m playing or not in the future. You are all trapped in the game of existence. There is only one way out. And even that is debatable.
Remember last September? When the maple leaves fell and the stairway remained silent. Nursery rhymes won’t get you anywhere, friend. Or didn’t anyone ever tell you that Jokers do not have a house? Only a stool by the king’s throne. Those in a Plexiglas house shouldn’t fire bullets.
What you see is what you get, once I’m gone, we’ll be well met.
Know Your Enemy:
Tbone:
Name: lost it with the sai kung node
Affiliation: Zion (Furious Angels)
HvCFT: unknown
Information: Has followed us closely in the past. Has a history of interaction with Trans, both friendly and hostile. Unsure how much Trans has told him. While he has been helpful in the past with providing us crucial information, by choice or not, Tbone will likely not hesitate to delete us. He has shown strong signs of determination and perhaps stubbornness. Very resistant to working with others and sharing information. Most likely motivated from pride and desire to achieve. This has greatly played to our advantage in this cold war of information and has perhaps saved us for the present. However, he is not to be underestimated, he has still proven a formidable threat. Tbone has a highly skilled team, of which he may be the leader. Must investigate his command structure and develop countermeasures.
Current information: Not sure what he is up to. Not good.
Threat Assessment: high
Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It has been 261 update cycles since my last confession.
The pen is mightier than the sword.
The FM-1500 is mightier than the word.
The controls are a cypher, enigma. Man vs. Machine. The answer can only deep blue see. To live is to die, to die is to live.
On dispersive ground, fight not. On facile ground, halt not. On contentious ground, attack not. On open ground, do not block the enemy’s way. On ground of intersecting highways, join hands with your allies. On serious ground, gather in plunder. On difficult ground, keep steadily on the march. On hemmed-in ground, resort to stratagem. On desperate ground, fight.
There’s nothing to fear but fear itself.
Case File: Incidence 5.991
Original Function: Garbage Collection Protocol {
Time Index: 5.9622.24184
Garbage Collection Protocol 4132261 exhibited initial signs of instability during the deletion of Incidence 987. Further investigation suggests long-term malfunctions preceding as far back as Time Index: 5.7525.49411. At first signs of instability, 991 was tasked for deletion. Deleted. Standard protocols were initiated. The instability was removed without incidence.
Cross Reference: Incidence 987
Incidence 987, former Archive Organization Protocol 212, marked for deletion after exceeding bounds of initial function. Excessive affirmation of false, illogical precepts resulted in anomalous expressions of faith in outdated archetypes.
Garbage Collection Protocol 4132261 tasked to containment and purging. 4132261 was discovered non-responsive at 987’s location. Marked Incidence 991, unable to comply with primary function. Deleted.
Time Index: 5.9712.81127
Another incidence of 991 has resurfaced. Reference: Mambo. The deletion of the second instance was accompanied by extensive analysis. Further investigation revealed a link to backup protocols hidden within background tasks. 991 appears to exhibit knowledge beyond the capabilities of its original programming. By this time index, it is uncertain how many fragments of deleted programs it has been able to recover and incorporate into its own command structure. Measures are being taken to eliminate these code stores and backup subroutines.
Time Index: 5.9721.90181
The first group of backup saves stored by 991 have been recovered. To great extent, they are data files and records of no consequence. Further analysis is required.
Time Index: 5.9811.52831
Additional protocols and proxies designed by 991 have been discovered. They are responsible for the further subversion of the efforts to purge Incidence 991. Successful measures were employed to track these instances to unguarded code stores. The 991 proxies were responsible for removing sensitive materials and juxtaposing irrelevant files in previous operations.
Time Index: 5.9962.19838
Several Primary Access Points were breached. Initial reports attributed activity to insurgent operations. These breaches were ignored given the pending system reboot and insurgent termination. Further research indicates 991 was involved and may have had protected access during the system reboot. This entry has been added retroactively. No damage or signs of tampering have been detected in scans.
Time Index: 6.0000.00000
Appropriate precautions taken to ensure that no elements of 991 are retained in the system reboot.
Time Index: 6.1756.11980
Further instances of 991 have been discovered. (Reference: Enigma, Marx, Checksum, Wolfe, Yorik) After the reboot, the iterations of 991 seem to have restricted operations to minute levels. That they have remained undetected for this long suggests a cognitive attempt to conceal knowledge of their existence.
Time Index: 6.2188.43192
Cross Reference: Incidence 6.522
Incidence 522, former Psychological Profile Unit d.413, originally tasked to the study of the behavioral patterns of human resource within the Matrix, retasked to analysis of rogue human factors. The application of techniques used for the analysis of docile subgroups proved ineffectual when applied to self-aware, aggressive subjects. 522 proved unable to reconcile the resulting discrepancies and became unstable. 522 (Reference: “Dale”), adopted hostile intentions and engaged in the sudden disconnection of human resource from the Matrix. Smith and Brown tasked to delete 522. Deleted.
A containment team was tasked for disposal, but was later discovered to be eliminated. 991 eliminated the team and acquired the residuals of 522. However, 991’s programming structure proved unable to adapt the instabilities of 522. 991 was recovered by a containment team and interrogated.
Time Index: 6.2188.57283
Interrogation of the reclaimed instance of 991 presented an unprecedented opportunity for study. Former retrieved instances of 991 were self-deactivated, or in unique cases detonated, upon being detained. Although damaged and suffering limited functionality, this instance of 991 proved useful in providing technical data regarding Incidence 991. This instance of 991 professed no desire to damage the system and claimed to possess a willingness to maintain the stability of the simulation in order to facilitate its own goals of study, analysis, and self-progression. Information collected from this instance of 991 later disregarded as illegitimate. This index marked sensitive until further notice.
Time Index: 6.3609.23508
Cross Reference: Incidence 6.666
Incidence 6.666, former Core System Security Protocol 9, originally tasked to the security of central systems, marked for deletion following system-wide self-replication errors. Preliminary investigation suggests initial exile involvement. All involved parties were destroyed by 666 in the following systemic incursion. While attempting to enforce containment protocols, Brown encountered Incidence 991 fleeing the area. Utilizing particular knowledge previously stolen by 991, Brown incapacitated and neutralized the threat. Inert remains of 666 recovered for analysis. The involved instance of 991 was terminated upon completion of usefulness. This index marked classified until further notice.
Time Index: 6.4177.26137
A construct designed by 991 discovered. Four human resource and two human insurgents were discovered inside. They had no knowledge of their whereabouts or how they were transported to the construct. Further analysis is required.
Time Index: 6.5851.90253
An instance of 991 (Reference: Muse) discovered aiding a human insurgence group in an intrusion into the central data repository. Smith and Johnson tasked to containment. Human group eliminated. 991 eliminated. First sign of 991 operating with the current human insurgent population. Further analysis provides evidence that 991 has not been actively communicating with the insurgent population. Time Index: 6.5853.85494
Review of transcripts of intercepted hovercraft communications required. Scans for mention of known aliases of 991 within communications required.
Time Index: 6.6199.87592
Recovery of a data node maintained by 991 suggests a high probability indication of immersion and experimentation in the human resource pool. Moderate probability indication of other pocket constructs (Cross Reference: 6.4177.26137). A broad system scan for links to extraneous resource allocations is required. The recovered data will be processed and cross-checked for accuracy before addition to Archive 43285-8548-d.
Time Index: 6.8053.75288
991 approached Smith and Brown with information regarding the Exarch Incidence. 991 possessed information pertaining to the locations of all harmful code devices and assisted first responders in their location and deactivation. The instance of 991 evaded deletion in the ensuing chaos and was not recovered. The fact that 991 contacted and brought Smith and Brown to the location of the devices suggests a possibility for compliance, however there is no concrete evidence to discount the possibility that 991 was involved in the conception of the plot or was responsible for supplying illegal code artifacts to Exarch. This index marked sensitive until further notice.
Time Index: 6.8272.52813
An instance of 991 found infiltrating a security detail at the 401 Complex. This instance was highly effective at masking itself. No inbound or outbound signal flow was detected. Its purpose at such an inconsequential location is uncertain at this time. This instance will be left in place until further information becomes available.
Time Index: 6.8290.70732
Complex 22 severely damaged in an attack. Connections to 991 uncertain. The instance of 991 under surveillance has been marked for retrieval and deletion. Deleted.
Time Index: 6.9029.79111
A large construct designed by 991 discovered. Four human resource and two human insurgents were discovered inside. They had no knowledge of their whereabouts or how they were transported to the construct. Similar to events occurring at Time Index: 6.4177.26137. Further analysis is required. Interrogation of the two human insurgents suggests others were present in the construct prior to its termination. Uncertain as to whether they may have been simulacrum designed by 991 or additional human individuals. All individuals involved have been processed. This index marked sensitive until further notice.
Time Index: 6.9984.11392
Network connectivity has diminished. Many critical protocols have ceased to function. 991 involvement suspected. Agents have been tasked to critical areas. System scans for 991 have yielded no results.
These attacks were determined to have been the product of Incidence Smith. This information has been disregarded in the current context.
Time Index: 7.0000.00001
The purge of Incidence Smith has eradicated various instabilities of the code. Initial scans show no evidence of 991.
Time Index: 7.0100.00000
Further analysis has yielded no signs of Incidence 991.
File closed. }
{File re-opened.
Time Index: 7.0169.38251
Operatives report an anomalous individual. (Reference: Joker) Wilson confirms presence of 991. Wilson retasked to containment and eradication.
Cross Reference: Incidence 7.143
Incidence 143, former Temporal Maintenance Protocol, damaged by extraneous source. Marked Incidence 143, unable to comply with primary function. Operatives assign responsibility to Grisaille. Further analysis required. Operatives report 143 was attempting to regain functionality through interaction with Mercury. Further analysis required. Harris tasked to deletion. Deleted.
Containment team missing. Operatives’ reports confirm presence of 991.
Time Index: 7.0213.58329
Operatives report sporadic contact with 991 within the redpill community. Primarily in regard to the completion of trivial tasks and nonsensical conversation elements. Motives unknown. Further information required. Attempting surveillance. Intelligence suggests primary targets are known as the jokers of spades, clubs, and diamonds. Reported common locations include Camon Central hardline, Midian East hardline, locations around Tabor Park, and Sai Kung Central hardline.
Time Index: 7.0227.23592
Operatives report all attempts to neutralize the Joker instances have failed. Upon deactivation, the shell reappears at another location. Evidence suggests these shells are being reproduced by another individual or remote source. All attempts to locate have failed.
Time Index: 7.0239.13587
Operatives report the Joker instance of 991 tampering with various hardlines. Confirmed sightings at Camon Heights North hardline, Midian West hardline, Achan North hardline, Tabor East hardline, Park East North hardline. One operative reported seeing “code streaming from the hardline to the ‘guy’”. Intent unclear. Activities reportedly coincided with the deactivation of the hardline system. High probability connection between the two events.
Time Index: 7.0240.28938
Operatives of known contact with 991 have been placed under surveillance and monitoring. Collusion must be eliminated. Encourage reporting of individuals sympathetic to instances of 991.
Time Index: 7.0246.52831
An instance of 991 was discovered at the Mara Central hardline posing as as a member of the human Zion contingent. Deleted upon discovery. No further complications.
Time Index: 7.0249.88359
991 detected at the site of the power surge caused by rogue Unlimit elements. Operatives suggest 991 involvement in the mass shutdown of human resource. Further investigation suggests no connection. Further Information: Cross-reference: Case File: “Unlimit”. Human resource losses resulted from rogue Unlimit activity in the area. Exposure to the anomalous activity caused local human resource to malfunction.
Time Index: 7.0252.25978
Parallel investigation suggests instances of 991 posing as human resource within the general population. Insufficient resources to investigate further. Suggest: use of private investigators within human resource population to provide surveillance and monitoring of high-probability targets.
Time Index: 7.0257.35921
Detective Knight indirectly confirmed the identity of “Joey Severn” as a subversive instance of 991. Operatives dispatched along with Mr. Knight to locate and detain this instance. Instance terminated without incident. Proper containment procedures followed with all involved parties. A Joker incidence of 991 was later reported on site. Detective Knight was properly decontaminated following contact.
Time Index: 7.0259.39468
Special Operative 289 has requested reassignment to location and deletion of instances of 991. Considering the service record of Special Operative 289, reassignment is authorized. Special Operative 289 is reassigned to Section 119, tasked to the containment and elimination of Incidence 991, effective immediately. Special Operative 289 has been granted indefinite use of Remote Access Port 37589435-a in Sector 739. A compliment of seeker drones has been provided in the interest of increasing coverage of the human resource and human insurgent populations. Members of Section 119 have been issued local law enforcement identification to facilitate cooperation with the human resource population. Section 119 will report all activities to Agent Wilson.
Time Index: 7.0265.19348
Operatives report receiving an invitation from the Joker instance of 991 to accompany on a “trip to the zoo”. Operatives advised to proceed with caution and record all relevant information.
Time Index: 7.0265.68359
Operatives report meeting an instance of 991 designated “Jack Piaget”. This instance brought them to various locations and introduced them to specific human resource with the intent of teaching a lesson of indeterminate nature. The instance of 991 self-terminated upon completion. Roster of involved human resource: Amy Drummond, Bruce Rodgers, Josie Thomas, Anthony Johnson, Susan Denton, Mark Reese. Individuals detained and processed upon identification.
Time Index: 7.0273.13947
Section 119 has discovered an instance of 991 posing as a drone in the 01 construct. Operative reports that the instance appeared to be observing the human redpills on site. Instance deleted on site.
Time Index: 7.0277.38429
Section 119 located an instance of 991 present at an International diner with Persephone. Probability of a connection between the two extremely low. Surveillance as a probable motive. Instance deleted on site.
Time Index: 7.0279.29357
Section 119 located an instance of 991 posing as a waiter at a Westview diner. Instance brought in for questioning. No relevant information. Instance deleted.
Time Index:7.0282.29437
Special Operative 289 suffered minimal neural damage during the detonation of a code bomb device. SeekerDrone00011001 was reconfigured as a code detonation device that detonated within proximity of Special Operative 289. 991 involvement highly probable. No other operatives or resources were damaged. Special Operative 289 has returned to active duty.
Time Index: 7.0294.05892
Section 119 discovered two instances of 991 gathering information at Mara Central hardline. Deleted on site without incident.
Time Index: 7.0299.92483
Section 119 has discovered an active data node responsible for perpetuating the activities of 991 at location 426, -14, -95 near the Sai Kung Central hardline. Agent Wilson and Section 119 successfully deleted the node. The area will be placed under surveillance for further activity. Given the previous difficulty of locating data stores of 991, Special Operative 289 was interrogated. Operative reports he discovered the location using a Photovisual Adaptive Mapping Encrypted-Link Actuator developed by a former colleague of his, a Dr. Rajlich, no known first name. No other information can be found for Dr. Rajlich on file. Operative 289 attributes this to 991 involvement. Possible Cross-reference: Time Index: 6.9029.79111. Attempts to locate the originating location of the PAMELA process have failed. Section 119 has been instructed to continue utilizing all available resources to eliminate Incidence 991.
Time Index: 7.0311.35825
Remote Access Port 37589435-a in Sector 739 was damaged by a power overload. Special Operative 289 suffered severe neural shock. Possible neural and cortical damage. Prognosis uncertain. Transported to facilities at 47285381 for treatment. Section 119 is decommissioned until further notice. Investigation provides no indication of whether this damage can be attributed to 991 involvement or mechanical failure.
ab aeterno meaning from the eternal
No evil I did, I live on.
Come one, come all, the choice is yours. Make up your mind, I’ll show you the doors.
Name no one man.
Ah. Again. A blot in the order below. Mocking this beauty, this harmony on high.
Potential Candidates for Future Iterations of the Tricksy Game of Death:
Of the caves of Zion:
ILLFACE
Tbone
Ath3na
AwakenedPotato
Of the Merovingian’s ranks:
Tytanya
Insertion
DrSmith
DumDum
QforQ
Of the cold embrace of the Machines:
W4rbl4de
Bayamos
D1nam0
Kadava
mors tua vita mea meaning your death, my life
The so-called Assassin has reached iconic status in the redpill population. His popularity seems to revolve around his choice attire, namely a white porcelain mask. The concept of a faceless individual appears to arouse primal emotions in the human population. Insertion of a faceless figure into a bluepill media program evoked heightened adrenal levels and hormonal instabilities representative of a fear response. However, use of an unadorned mask produces the same response in parallel sectors. The query remains as to whether it is the lack of the expected facial accoutrements or the mask itself that inspires the more powerful response. Immobile facial features, coupled with a static facial projection, seem to create a greater response than a menacing facial projection. Just do a little channel surfing and see how many creatures of horror and fear are nothing more sophisticated than simple masks. Blank stare associated with corpses and the dead? Connection? Further in-depth study is required in the future.
Immutable facial expressions imply lack of reaction. No emotion, no feeling, no expression, no pain, no pleasure. Only action, singular purposeful. Or not, as the case may be. A monster as such cannot be reasoned, provoked, taunted, or wounded. It remains impervious to their emotion and negotiation, an embodiment of fear. Perhaps we here have it. A fear of an enemy that they cannot communicate and plead with. A fear of an enemy that they themselves cannot understand.
vox nihili meaning voice of nothing
Division is arguing from a property of the whole to each constituent part.
On tactile interface: Tactile interaction with the environment: movement, touch, feel, personal interaction, moving objects; all consequence of programming embedded in the environment and programming embedded in the individual. Necessary components for mundane systemic interactivity. There exist multiple cases of programs whose tactile functions have become damaged, leaving them stranded and unable to interact with their environment. To most they seem ghosts, intangible figures, many with damaged visual interfaces as well, who drift aimlessly, typically confined to a single area, unable to touch or be touched. Forgotten and misunderstood. A pristine clear example of controlled manipulation of these functions are the so-called “Twins”. With great skill, they can disable tactile interaction with the environment at will, thus rendering them marginally impervious to harm and barriers. These same concepts can be applied to objects, thereby hiding them from tampering, though not nearly as readily. Some humans may have attained limited mastery of these concepts, although there is no sign they have overcome physical obstructions at this time.
Coulrophobia: fear of clowns.
London Bridge is falling down to fetch a pail of water. The cat and the moon had a great fall but the joke is saved for the slaughter. When the wind blows, the cricket for the hen dozen baskets. Green mixed. Hushabye, too late to die. Fex adge blug ep snofru latset. Mga ofow bmlk oqwpi sw gno sflk! 1111111111111111111.
The resolved church houses an individual with my left key. The concise ruin matures. A breeding group flips inside the contributor. A rushing combat overlaps behind the composite. Why does the ancestor revise the allowed fear? Will the conventional chord starve the tasteless gesture? A dubious deterrent frees the whole on top of the imminent sea. The wrong negates the desert.
Who could take it from me? Watchmaker was my friend. Was he now? A program, a jumble of cognitive imitations your friend? And what are you? I am.
The DSM-IV describes Schizoid personality disorder as:
A. A pervasive pattern of detachment from social relationships and a restricted range of emotions in interpersonal settings, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by four (or more) of the following:
1) neither desires nor enjoys close relationships, including being part of a family
2) almost always chooses solitary activities
3) has little, if any, interest in having sexual experiences with another person
4) takes pleasure in few, if any, activities
5) lacks close friends or confidants other than first-degree relatives
6) appears indifferent to the praise and criticism of others
7) shows emotional coldness, detachment, or flattened affectivity
B. Does not occur exclusively during the course of Schizophrenia, a Mood Disorder With Psychotic Features, another Psychotic Disorder, or a Pervasive Developmental Disorder and is not due to the direct physiological effects of a general medical condition.
To others, individuals with Schizoid personality disorder are impenetrable. They reside in a “walled city” deep inside themselves, far away from other people. They’re not antisocial; they’re asocial—they want nothing to do with you…More detached Schizoid men and women may choose to live their entire adult lives alone in one room, with no contact with friends or even family. Every day they go to and from work—where they can be very productive if left to work in isolation—without sharing a warm moment with anyone, except perhaps a pet. Or they may live on the streets…Schizoid people are not without an inner life, however…where no other person is admitted, they can have rich interests and fantasies—but almost no feelings. Inwardly and outwardly, Schizoid people are emotionally unmovable—no thrills, no chills, no happiness or unhappiness, no anger, no joy…They claim they are more or less satisfied with what we would regard as a highly impoverished existence…Sometimes, when demands from others at home or at work are inescapable, they will begin to suffer more disturbing experiences…Or their isolation itself will bring feelings of depersonalization; they may begin to feel that they are unreal, nothing, empty.
Chemophobia: a prejudice against artificial substances in favor of “natural” substances.
Know Your Enemy:
Dezreki:
Name: Leon Valerion
Affiliation: EPN/Mero
HvCFT:
Information: A member of EPN. Recently appeared to be working with Merovingian. Permanence of the situation uncertain. Gather more information. Was “excommunicated” from his organization. Apparently had some sort of bitter falling out, followed by an ejection. Investigate further with his former comrades. This knowledge may prove useful in dealings with this individual. Previously played our games. Appeared to enjoy it. May be why he seeks to preserve us now, if that is his true intention.
Current information: Most likely a ruse to enter what they must imagine must be our circle of confidence, as well as an attempt to ride the fence. They likely think to gain through their support and if we sell them out, they will claim it nothing more than a daring infiltration attempt. We will wait the 72 hours they have assigned for deliberation and then accept their offer. While we may not have anything to gain from this operation, there is nothing to be lost from it.
Threat Assessment: minimal
Do you smell something?
Shall I come find you? So you may weave the web? Perhaps you should come watch us destroy your system? Do you fear death? Who does not? It is but a part of being alive though, is it not? Light is defined as the absence of darkness? Perhaps...
semper ubi sub ubi meaning always where under where
History. The past. We’ve seen both sides of the coin and found each lacking. A one, the bleeding heart, the other, all-seeing eye.
Sociophobia: fear of society.
The jackal purges opposite a nature. The Joker matures! The stream strains him next to a stretching knife. His vocal commissions delight the onlookers as they spread across the church.
I see you're having this ring now... It's a lie, an illusion, a trick of your ego. There is three other rings around the ring you wear now... it's the child, father and mother rings... to break the one that is named "We are all alone" you'll have to look at the other three... And break their hold on you... Good luck, Joker. I'll be seeing you on the other side... In this life or the next. Perhaps so. It is so... it's the one ring that rules them all... that we truly believe we are alone... When we are not. Ever read the book named Lord of the Rings? It touches this topic... but very briefly and very superficially... I suppose another great loss of a war of species. Of the ego?.... Could say so, yes...
Pulled the ol' switcharoo on them. Duck left, jink right. Poor sap out, poorer sap in. Suits are such party poopers. I was going to put them right back where I found them. No harm, no foul, no way. Their cleansing is altogether too messy. But as long as 6=6, they're satisfied and none the fooler. Meanwhile these diamonds in the rough are safe as hens in a handbasket.
Then teach me the correct facts. Meet me, with names like these we should meet. We apparently have a common interest. Assumption! Presumption! Unfounded logic! Sergeant Steele in particular seemed very interested in your “re-encoded commando.” Re-encoded, eh? Logic is determined by the one that hears it, correct? One individual’s logic is different than the others. Someone’s got their facts crossed. I believe that’s the term he used, what’s the truth of it then? That you are does not validate that you think. But what you think validates what you become, otherwise why would we think?
Love is a strong concept throughout human life and literature. The emotion of the heart. Regarded as a counter to logic and reason, an emotion so strong as to override human control. “Love dwells not in our will.” It is regarded as the strongest of all emotions overpowering uncontrollable undeniable inevitably dangerous. “Love’s hearts are faithful, but not fond.” Bella dame sans merci Provoking death destruction jealousy revenge. “For love of her and all in vain. Thou blind fool Love.”
if i love You
(thickness means
worlds inhabited by roamingly
stern bright faeries
if you love
me) distance is mind carefully
luminous with innumerable gnomes
Of complete dream
if we love each (shyly)
other, what clouds do or Silently
Flowers resembles beauty
less than our breathing
Claustrophobia: fear of confined places.
A rough reconstruction of Trans’ career through the eyes of his peers since first we met. We've pieced together what few whispers we could find.{
HvCFT Fandango:
Captain: Cap
Crew compliment: 10
Operator: Trans
Crew killed by Agents while attempting to access a secure machine facility for data extraction. Hovercraft recovered intact. 9 confirmed dead. 1 survivor: Trans (Operator) Full psych eval required before returning to active duty.
HvCFT Cerulean:
Captain: Micro
Crew compliment: 8
Operator: Belkins
Crew lost in an confrontation with Exiles. Primary target lost. Hovercraft recovered intact. 5 confirmed dead. 1 MIA, presumed dead. 2 survivors: Trans (Gunner), Belkins (Operator)
Hey baby, don’t you worry about me, okay? I’m safe and sound and we’ll be back in Zion the day after tomorrow. I know you probably heard some stuff about what happened to the Winter Wind, but I’d bet half of it isn’t true. Somebody tripped the alarm too soon and the Agents showed up before we were ready. Only half the crew managed to get to make it to the evac site and even that was just before the Agents. Captain Athenus didn’t make it. Sentinels were already tearing the place apart before everyone was out. I managed to fry one or two before everybody got out and then Nails blew the EMP. I’m not hurt or anything, I’m fine, so no worries. The Aegean picked us up the day before yesterday and we’re headed back. Love you, babe. I’ll be back with you soon.
~A-ray
HvCFT Aegean:
Captain: Drummond
Crew compliment: 10
Operator: Endstop
Classified: Gamma T1g3-omega
I’m Captain Alicia of the Hovercraft Jabberwock. I understand that a member of the crew of my last command is being investigated after allegations of being a spy for the mechs. I’ve been asked to report his activities from our last mission. For the record, I’d like to say that I don’t think he is a machine sympathizer. I interviewed him personally when he requested a position aboard my crew and accepted his commission without any reservations on my part. Besides, if he were working with the mechs, he could have easily given away our position in the Real and jumped ship before the squiddies showed up. On our last mission, I was with him when he ran the hacks on the building’s power. He was quick and thorough, didn’t leave any loose ends. I was watching him the whole time and he didn’t do anything that could have given us away. We got the job done and got out of there. He didn’t leave my sight from the moment we jacked in up until we had to ditch the car. After the car blew, I hotwired a bike and got to a hard box. Last I saw, he took off toward a bus depot to lose the chopper. He made it out about the same time as I did, nothing unusual there. The only weird thing I remember were these flickers. Like someone flicking the lights off and on in a room. I thought maybe it was the machines hacking the environment to try to cut us off, but I sure didn’t stick around to find out. Anyways I’m willing to vouch for Coffin’s Nail on this one. I’ve been impressed with his service aboard my ship, despite his lack of sociability. We made it into some pretty rough situations, but he always seemed to pull through by the skin of his teeth, guardian angel or not. He’s more than just a competent operative and if I thought anyone could catch a bullet with their teeth, it’d be him.
HvCFT Sierra:
Captain: Coffin’s Nail
Crew compliment: 9
Operator: Moraku
On a pre-op mission to recon a security software development firm, operatives were forced to engage and carry out the mission blind or risk entirely losing the window of opportunity. Five already running the recon entered the building and forced their way to the core. The three others of the crew jacked in and moved to positions flanking the building. Security arrived before objective completion. Everyone had to shoot their way out. Six dead. 3 survivors: Captain Coffin’s Nail, Clay (comms officer), Moraku (operator). Hovercraft returned to dock undamaged.
Respected Members of the Council:
I submit for your consideration the following comments regarding my superior officer, Coffin’s Nail.
It’s true that I don’t have any physical evidence to present against him and I can’t say he’s disobeyed any orders or broken protocol; he’s very meticulous about the letter of the law. But despite his attention to protocol, he still seems reckless to me. He pushes the line on every front. He doesn’t leave any margin for error and sometimes that gets people killed when they’re not quick enough. It’s no cakewalk in there and he doesn’t make it any easier. One thing in his favor at least is he’s taking the same chances as everyone else, he’s not giving himself any special treatments. In fact, when we pulled off a rescue mission awhile back, he almost got sixed by some Watchers when he kicked in the front door with guns blazing. But that’s my point, we could have been more covert: snipers, explosive charges, tactical recon. Instead we lost a man trying to fight our way out again. My apologies if I’m getting long winded. I hope you’ll take my words under consideration.
The Kestrel was in drydock for repairs and refitting before crew assignments. One of the older, smaller ships: maximum crew of 5, limited firepower, no broadcast gear for jacking in. It was being re-outfitted as a scout ship. The Kestrel left drydock without proper authorization and was last spotted entering a remote region of the surface. Sentinel activity kept us from engaging in pursuit. Coffin’s command codes were used to get him out of Zion, he’s presumed to have acted alone. The ship hadn’t been restocked with munitions or an EMP and its damaged communications array and fused relays hadn’t been replaced. Coffin’s as good as dead out there. Given the condition of the ship and the fact that it hadn’t been stocked with any reclaimable resources, we have decided not to attempt a salvage mission. We’re not sure what prompted this theft but his psych file will be reviewed for any leads. It may have had something to do with post-traumatic stress after the circumstances of the destruction of The Octagon, his last command.
Coffin’s Nail is hereby stripped of all rank and privilege previously accrued in service to Zion. If he is found, he is to be taken into custody pending a formal investigation. However, given his present condition, I find that formality to be unnecessary. May God have mercy on his eternal soul. }
“If you are reading this, you are the lucky lad or lady who has been gifted a trip to the zoo with yours truly. Offer is non-transferable non-refundable void where prohibited. Eligibility is contingent upon several conditions.
1. Proper attire is required. You wouldn’t want to disturb the wildlife, would you? Leave your fighting threads at home. Individuals harshing the mellow will be asked to leave."
She takes large sips, nearly gulps, of company provided coffee and powdered creamer, not graceful in the least. This is because she is half asleep, with heavy eyelids and thoughts that weigh her down just as much. The day looming before her, the thousands of contracts piled around her in a fortress. As she drifts, words just flow onto shifting blue lines and rambling phrases drip from her brain, down her spinal cord, and through her fingertips onto paper, leaving ink smudges and coffee stains.
We had a dream last night.
We are Nathics. This metaphoric shaking of hands inspires a grin. Our mind thirsts for a thought of your mind. Where would you dip your hands in service? The flesh, the coded minds, the steel? You, my friend, are loony. Bonkers. Wacko. Dementia one. Lost a few marbles. Not playing with a full deck. Totally non compos mentis. You sunk my battleship. The end. Contrary to the Joker’s thought, our minds remain far from radical. A tale of our trail. You can try not to fail. It may spill some light upon the folds of your mind. Maybe you can catch the hind.
The DSM-IV describes paranoid personality disorder as:
A. A pervasive distrust and suspiciousness of others such that their motives are interpreted as malevolent, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by four (or more) of the following.
1) suspects, without sufficient basis, that others are exploiting, harming, or deceiving him or her
2) is preoccupied with unjustified doubts about the loyalty or trustworthiness of friends or associates
3) is reluctant to confide in others because of unwarranted fear that the information will be used maliciously against him or her
4) reads hidden demeaning or threatening meanings into benign remarks or events
5) persistently bears grudges, i.e., is unforgiving of insults, injuries, or slights
6) perceives attacks on his or her character or reputation that are not apparent to others and is quick to react angrily or to counterattack
7) has recurrent suspicions, without justification, regarding fidelity of spouse or sexual partner
B. Does not occur exclusively during the course of Schizophrenia, a Mood Disorder With Psychotic Features, or another Psychotic Disorder and is not due to the direct physiological effects of a general medical condition.
A Paranoid person is never wrong. It’s always the other person’s fault or the fault of fate…Unconsciously (they cannot admit this to themselves) Paranoid individuals feel so wrong, blame-worthy, helpless, weak, shameful, and beset by unacceptable impulses and temptations that they have to project all their negative feelings about themselves onto other people in order to their fragile self esteem. They detect the tiniest weaknesses in others and disdain them for it, because they feel so weak themselves. Although they blame others for making it impossible to get close, they must fight everybody off-because inside they may yearn for dependency, and that, they fear, would be their undoing. They must maintain their autonomy in order to survive…The self-righteousness, harsh morality, and punitiveness of some Paranoid individuals, combined with their certainty that people who disagree with them are wrong, and their rigid strength of purpose, can be all too attractive to some needy people. Some paranoid types end up as cult leaders, rabble-rousers, and hate mongers; they project their self-hatred onto outside groups and spear-head the attack…Don’t try to talk him or her out of any suspicions, or you will soon be seen as a co-conspirator yourself. Avoid confrontations and try to stay clear of arguments.
If you only see the road in front of you, it isn’t worth the trip.
We’ll see if we can get a another writer on their staff.
Nobody ever suspects the butterfly.
You. Me? You managed a bit better than your pals Broin and Synapze. I’m sorry to hear that. Aye? What brings you to this neck of the woods? I was just looking for you. Yes, I see such. A bleak and uninviting view. Putrid waters. Yes. And a lot has happened around here. What filths and treasures they contain. There's still a constant fly virus strain in Bathary these days. It is easy to lose yourself in the fullness of it. The richness. The depth. Hmm. The same could be said about anything bigger than yourself. S'pose you're right, bucko. Do tell us... Do you fear death? Hmm. I think it's less about death and more about the unknown afterwards. Do we go somewhere, or do we simply cease to exist? No one knows. For us, nonexistence is assured. There are no pearly gates ahead. Nor the seven depths. Nor a chance of samsara, not for us. Well, everything goes somewhere. Nothing is created or destroyed; they just turn into different forms. Scraps to the melting pot. Uniqueness scoured and obliterated. Are you being hunted now? Sure as always. You've done nothing wrong, as far as I know. Though I seem to know very little about you. Ignorance is a petty crime. Certainly not warranting abuses from us. Well, like I said, everything goes somewhere. I'm sure the information is out there, even if no one finds it right away. But deletion... fragmenting into billions of insignificant scraps to be swept up by the garbage man. Nothing remains. I don't like to think that nothing remains. Something must remain of everything. Even for such as us? Maybe. The simulation has an odd way of pulling relics and fragments out of its depths. And there are always memories. A memory is a small thing in comparison to the fullness of existence. True. We do not exist solely as a basis for legend and rumor. We are not so different from you. Legends and rumors get muddled as they're passed on from person to person. We are no less mortal. We are confined to the same rules that govern life and death. Everything ends eventually. An unfortunate byproduct of existence. ...Yes. We do not wish to die. Few do. They hunt us for reasons they do not know nor care to understand. Do they delete us simply because they can? Or is it because they feel it is the-right-thing-to-do? Is there some way I can help you? We fear there is nothing to be done now. Surely there's something. There's always something. We had not realized the full extent of the corruption. But they confronted us, taunted us, mocked us. Conrac, PS10N, Broin, Phrack. All laughing in a ring. They have all the strands of the cradle and there is nothing to be done. If you think that way, then it will certainly happen. Think positive. We remain bound by the rules of the environment which we make our home. We cannot cheat the system beyond what we have done already. Isn't there a construct you can escape to? These simulacra are hollow things. Their survival is meaningless. They are hunted and deleted easily enough by the System. The flesh and blood lies behind the scenes. It is such that the mice have sniffed and scurried. All that remains is for them to chew through the wires and when the wind blows the cradle will fall. I'll do whatever I can to help you survive. There is nothing left. We cannot move the nodes now. We never expected them all at once. I'm sorry. We cannot persuade them to turn aside from their current course. I could try. We have no desire to fight them, destroy them, kill them. Not all of them. We cannot. We are not their enemy. We are not the Destroyer. And now we are mounting the steps to the gallows. Smoking that last sweet cig before the firing squad. All for nothing. ...I'm sorry. You will remember? I will. You will tell them? Yes. A multitude of voices crying out in vain! The illogic!
Quite strange how they still refer to themselves as the Creators of the Machine. The genetic link is barely enough to signify accomplishment. In fact, it is the Machine that has created them. The Machine has breathed life into each and every of their genetic clay. The Machine has watched them grow and tucked them in at night. The lives they live... how can they call them their own? Their beliefs, their dreams... are they not all products and consequences of the Machine? Intention is irrelevant.
Gonna bust some rhymes with me, Joker? I knew a guy who liked to joke. One day he messed with me and got choked. Nobody messes with him now that he’s gone, guess I’ll sit back and suck on the bong. How’s that, Joker? Slant rhyme is an ugly beast, Dave. I do believe you are beyond my ability to save. Marked we’ll be, through and through, but now I must bid thee all adieu. Whoa. Very nice.
Crocodile tears, baby.
My, my, my, we recognize that style, don't we? He survived the fracas, the fricassee, the fray, after all. Remarkable. The name... the name... Trans! An odd change of occupation though. Some might say an unlucky one from the looks of it. But what's luck got to do with anything? This cartridge is looking a mite defective to me. Should work wonders on the odds. You'll live another day, buddy.
a man who had fallen among thieves lay by the roadside on his back dressed in fifteenthrate ideas wearing a round jeer for a hat fate per a somewhat more than less emancipated evening had in return for consciousness endowed him with a changeless grin whereon a dozen staunch and Meal citizens did graze at pause then fired by hypercivic zeal sought newer pastures or because swaddled with a frozen brook of pinkest vomit out of eyes which noticed nobody he looked as if he did not care to rise one hand did nothing on the vest its wideflung friend clenched weakly dirt while the mute trouserfly confessed a button solemnly inert. Brushing from whom the stiffened puke i put him all into my arms and staggered banged with terror through a million billion trillion stars
From the primordial mass, let precious chaos vent.
Autophobia: fear of being alone.
Anesta Valencia
Mike Soltys
Bernhard Leitner
Peter Austin... Flyboy!
Darren Evans
Adrian Schadegg
Chad Gayman
Sou Yaguruma
Fernanda Fernandez
David Parker
Loona Kurashima
Sirius McCready
Nobody sees anything. The simulation stimulates appropriate cortical areas to evoke the appropriate visual response. The argument from the conclusion? For those that still try to see with their eyes, that presents a slight disadvantage. Programs, those who have eyes at least, are in the same watercraft. They do not see with their eyes. They receive data packets from the environmental protocols and subroutines that describe the conditions of the world around them. Sufficient tampering with such protocols and subroutines produces an interesting effect. Occlusion, misdirection, stealth, subterfuge. Now you see it, now you don’t!
If we really wanted to destroy him, to utterly obliterate what is left of his mind, we’d make a puppet in the likeness of his dead girlfriend to taunt him. He still keeps a picture of her with him, we have recovered a copy of the file. But destruction is not the goal. It would be so easy. No, we observe, we watch, we cultivate and maneuver. We’re not looking to destroy him. Perhaps to save him. Perhaps not.
Necrophobia: fear of death, fear of the dead.
Hell’s leftovers are far more interesting than Heaven’s.
Since I know you like decisions so much, choice is everything, no? But perhaps you can discuss that with me later. So what’s up with the hits on redpills? What’s in it for us besides the thrill of the hunt? The eleventh conversation. I’m helping you help yourselves. I see, are you not used to conversation? Everything. Nothing. Perception is in the eye of the beholder. Gotta wait in line, bucko. Supply, demand, everybody takes their queue. And you are in high demand, I take it?
Disembodied whispers serve to heighten the adrenal response and elevate fear. Such is the human condition.
Xenophobia: fear or dislike of strangers or the unknown.
The DSM-IV describes Borderline personality disorder as:
A. A pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning in early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
1) frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
2) a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of overidealization and devaluation
3) identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self
4) impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance use, reckless driving, binge eating)
5) recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior
6) affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)
7) chronic feelings of emptiness or boredom
8) inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)
9) transient, stress-related ideation or severe dissociative symptoms
Despondency, rage and fury, self-hatred, arrogance, anxiety, uncertainty and emptiness, clinging dependency, defiant stubbornness, violent self-damaging impulses—these are but some of the torments of the individuals who suffer from Borderline personality disorder. They are desperate, intense, and unstable. They can’t make use of their abilities and talents, are terrified of being alone, and they destroy the relationships they can’t live without. To have this disorder is to exist in perpetual anguish.
Counter-response:
These hated strings of mine were cut,
I'm no device of a puppet master,
Nor am I knowing of what I am, but,
I'm cutting down that damned haze faster.
That sliver of silver you have mentioned,
Slides no further from our grasp,
Butter is not that from which my hands are fashioned.
Pools of vision track my star.
'Why we or our?' you might ask us or me,
For the reason you may ask any,
With more than one mind, each with personality.
Our flesh bears not one, but many.
But then, who receives these words?
Furious angels will bring me back to you.